I was really shocked by the immense PATRIOTISM shown by my fellow countrymen. I somehow cannot understand why these people turned so angry and feel that humiliated.

When I heard the story of Dalai Lama having been bestowed the Honorary Citizen of Paris, I didn’t feel furious at all. My indifference as a Chinese is heavily questioned by my friends to the extent that I began to question myself: Am I still patriotic as I always think I am? If not, what happened to me and where is my lost patriotism?

Maybe that is because my world view, especially on politics, has been shaped by the western media. One of my friends made that comment the other day. Yes, I don’t read anything but The International Tribune, the Newsweek, Foreign Policy, and Economist; I don’t tune in to any news programs except that programmed by BBC or CNN. The articles and programs in the foreign media concerning China have set a brand-new stage for me to think more about my motherland, its history, its present and its future, objectively and critically. There are always eyes-opening comments and views that you’ll never expect to see in state media of China. For example, our beloved Chairman Mao is widely considered as the most horrible MONSTER and tyrant in the 20th century; the Tiananmen Incident is called “the Tiananmen Massacre”; the PLA has invaded, not “liberalise” Tibet in 1950s…these views appeared so frequently that have become a commonly-shared view and BASIC FACT about China deeply rooted in the minds of the western press and western people alike.

As the Tibet issue came into existence, I finally surrender: I don’t know which side is speaking the truth, the West or the Chinese. The view on Dalai Lama is sharply divided between the two sides—so horribly divided that you may doubt if they are commenting on the SAME person. This Dalai Lama can both be a “great fighter for human rights and one of the most respected and beloved figures on the planet” on western media and a ”vile and infamous separatist and a enemy against people” on state media in China.

Nevertheless, I have my strong convictions which can be seen as my prerequisite on any thinking concerning on China.

First, the world as a whole is shaped by the West. Not only the rules or regulations in trade or politics are made by the West, the western way of thinking, its ideology has been crowned the MAINSTREAM, or the only righteous way of thinking on this planet. The West is so powerful that I don’t see any possibility of success of turning against that tide in the foreseeable future.

Second, the West is afraid of the China’s Rise, be it “peaceful” (as claimed by the Beijing Government) or not. They are definitely not welcome this change in the balance of power, but somehow have to admit it and thus view China has a hard-to-handle BEAST.

Third, our country does have some problems especially in its human rights records. (I don’t want to specify on this issue)

Forth, currently, China does need a powerful party to have anything in this country, from the way to develop economy to how its people think, under absolute control. At the current developmental level, I support the One-Party system being executed in China.

When I see the word “China” along with a big red star being added in front of the user-names of my friends on MSN (which has been quite a trend recently), national flags triumphantly waving out of the windows of dormitory rooms on CFAU campus, and, the pictures depicting angry demonstrators stuck unmercifully with fists against their fellow countrymen who object boycotting Carrefour, I have to admit that our Communist Party’s propaganda skills and its patriotism education is one of the most successful on this planet, if not in this universe.

But… I’m sorry; I have the question: Has it gone too far?